Do You Ever?

Do you ever get a knot?
In the dead centre of your chest
A feeling of a string
Pulled from behind
A toy
And the words will tumble forth;

Do you ever look in the mirror without even seeing?
Sorting the features
Avoiding the detail
Not wanting to make eye contact
With yourself

Do you ever take on the world? Stumbling blind, but passionate
Only to realise it’s not the world
Just a barely functional semblance of “being”

Do you lie, constricted in the dark?
Making out lines and corners
Shapes forming into your most stubborn fears
Your deadlines
Your sexlife
Your child’s happiness
Their health
Their future
Your future
Our future
The hate and bombs
The sexism and torture
The basic lack of human decency
The godforsaken unfareness of it all
The distraction ever in constant play
Keeping us entertained
A sleight of hand
Keeping us occupied
God the exhaustion

Do you ever forget to smile?
Forget to be happy
Forget to enjoy
Can you remind yourself?
Can you remind me?
Remind me
I no longer recall how
I need to relearn it
Quick or it’s gone
It’s not like riding a bike
It’s a foreign language
Use it. Or lose it

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