The Do’s and Don’ts of hosting a birthday “party” for a 2 year old

My offspring turned 2 today. I did very little to celebrate his 1 year anniversary of being out in a wide open space. Now my little “we all thought he was at least 2.5 yrs old” genius is actually fully participating in the world around him we decided to have a little party, a gathering if you will, to celebrate the fact that we’re all still kicking and screaming and just about on 6 feet between the three of us.

So, with that in mind, a few hours after the fact, I thought it kind to impart my learned wisdom of the day with the following Do’s and Don’ts, lest you find yourself making similar decisions to host a birthday soirée for a 2 year old. It’s a public service offering really, one that will one day be deemed vital reading for all rookie party-throwers;

DO; plan ahead, at least a tiny, minuscule amount. Leaving it all until the morning of the party day is BAD. Planning is GOOD. Winging it BAD. Planning GOOD.

DO NOT; undertake if ill. Sneezing, coughing, sweating into your Sainsburys party food is NOT OK. I repeat, NOT OK (unless no-one saw, in which case move on and pretend it didn’t happen).

DO; buy a balloon pump, wheezing your filthy germs into balloons, making human chemical rubber bombs is a NO-NO.

DON’T; collect the Shrek Cake and sit it on a warm lap in a warm car for 40 mins. Said cake will melt and look terrifying. It will scare all the kids. And adults.

DO; remember to have coffee, tea, milk in the house prior to everyone arriving.

DON’T; only have Prosecco, Port and Brandy on offer when everyone has driven to visit you.

DO; remember to eat if all you’ve had all day is 3 lemsips and a vat of coffee.

DON’T; give your child a Ukulele as a gift if you’re cultivating a migraine


DO; invite loving family and friends who will revel in the wonder that is your child and big him up as much as you do.

DON’T; beat yourself up too much after the fact, he would have been happy with a dish sponge and cardboard box, so everything received on the day is just a wonderful bonus.

Happy Christmas to you all and may your party planning be a stress free and wonderful experience. (Wine helps).


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