Protected: Saying No

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My Women’s Room

Constantly wired
For explosion
My flight or fight
Set to run for your life
My fibrous innards coiled
Friction
With each turn of your screw
I am the Avalanche
With the door slam
I am the fear
I am the tenterhook
I am the raised hair
And the eye
That won’t stop twitching
I long with a gulping
Fraught desperation
For a quiet little space
A pale little place
With a view
Of an ocean
That locks from the
Inside out
My panic
Left on your doorstep
I long for a
Cacophony
Of butterfly wings
Voices whispers
Raising
To become a scree
I long to sing with them
My entrails spilt
My elastic loose
My love free

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She Said He Said

I said you only knew me
In reverse
As the absence of the there
The othering a daily chore

You said I was sensitive
Too fragile
Too quick to judge
Too emotional

I said I wasn’t born that way
The world had forced me so
Had painted me pink and white
And chopped up the easel

You said I was full of hate
Full of anger
Full of shit
Twisting your words

I said I did hate
And hate is learned
When all that you are is hated
Try dialling down that righteous anger

You said it wasn’t so
It wasn’t universal hatred
It wasn’t all men
It wasn’t

I looked you in the eye
And dared you
To stare right back
And say that with a straight face

You could not.

I’ll give you that.

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Ms World

Ms World clacks her heels
Trit-trot, click-clack
Her ankles fail
To carry the weight
Of the world

Ms world burns her soles
On the scalding glass
Of sand heated
By a sun too large
To hide from

Ms world binds her toes
And watches as the stumps
Bring joy and passion
To the eyes of the men
Staring through peepholes

Ms World straps her breasts down
Pretending they never arrived

Ms World injects her breasts with liquid sand
Her skin a coating, a gritty mix inside

Ms World hides her breasts beneath cloth
The child attached hidden too

Ms world bares her breasts
To the army and guns facing her down

Ms World chops her breasts from her form
Avoiding the death they’ll bring

Ms World worships her breasts
The only way to save her starving child

Ms World hates herself
Ms World denies herself
Ms World attacks herself
Ms world frightens herself
Ms world questions herself

In a world not built for her
Not designed for her
Where she isn’t catered for
Or heard
Ms world is the afterthought

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The Submarine

How strange
You said
To be scared of something
You’ve never seen up close
Never felt
How strange you are
With your random phobia
The submarine
With its weight
And hate
That solid leaden frame
That should sink
That would sink
But for the magic
Of the mechanism
The gunmetal greys and soots
Slipping unnoticed
An alloy whale
Out of its place
Raises the hair on my neck
The sweat springs
The breath quickens
How strange you are
You said
In my deepest sleeps
To hear the beep beep beep
Of the sonar
And smell the
Claustrophobic fear
Of the air escaping

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The Beautiful Song

The beautiful song
Wrestled in my chest
Playing to burst free
Clear rivers of silver
Threading through
Every verse

The beautiful song
Out in the open
A duet
Sung by one
Gold seas stitched through
Carrying us adrift

Our beautiful song
Out among the stars
Carried to the airless ends
Sung to me
Pitch navy velvet
Comforting us home

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New Year’s Eve

Each repeat of the popping cork
Each plastered on smile
Each old acquaintance
Elbowing their form
Into spaces not offered
Sings a hollow song
With words and a tune
We’ve hummed a hundred times
Pinpointing our refresh
And our skin shedding
To reveal the same
Shadow sitting on its step
Joy abounds we’re told
While the treadmills
Earn their stripes
And the clocking in cards
Wait on the shelf
For a few hours more
When the fires have burned bright
And the coals have cooled
The acidic retching has kicked in
The sticky floors mopped
We’ll all search for the jolly fellows
Hundreds on the night
None to be found the morning after
Roll it on, roll it out
Another barrel full
Another belly full
Another and another

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