Valentine's Day Can Go Do One.

Moon Pig.com, Funky Pigeon.com – Asda, Tesco, Boots, Trevor Nelson, Argos have all tried to wheedle their way into my purse in the last two weeks, pretending that it’s vitally important that I purchase their shit to give to my husband of 10 years. Why? Because it’s St Valentine’s day (they dropped the St, probably didn’t fit well with their erotic undertones).

We have an unwritten (but very loudly voiced) rule in this household, buy me any of that Valentine related tat at your peril. Feel free to bring home a bunch of flowers or an aero/twix/kitkat/crunchie any other day of the week, I’ll happily thank you. Do it for Valentine’s day and you know you’re in for a sarcastic retort and a pretty bad mood. Neither of us wants anything to do with such consumerist rubbish. And no, I genuinely don’t give a toss that it’s supposed to help boost the economy, I feel EXACTLY the same way about bloody Easter Eggs (which are in the shops from Jan 1st).

It’s all so odd, according to Wiki (so it must be true) St Valentine’s day is the second most celebrated “holiday” worldwide after New Year’s day – what started as a religious ceremony dating back to Roman times became associated with romance thanks to Chaucer…Not sure I’m surprised. But needless to say, the saints and Geoffrey probably wouldn’t be overly impressed with a card delivered by a “Funky Pigeon” or a “Moon Pig”.

Love, when you get to experience it, or when it is unrequited is a wonderfully powerful thing, true love is one of the greatest gifts we have. I don’t want, need or like to belittle those feelings with tacky fake bubbly or throwaway cards. Love letters are a different thing I suppose, I’ve kept those from my teenage days (mainly ones I wrote myself but never had the courage to send). Maybe I’m being too unfair, with so much doom and gloom and bad news at every turn, maybe frivolity and glitter isn’t such a bad thing.

Nope, No. Sorry I can’t. Valentines day, off you must surely fuck.